Smell Like An Orc With These RPG-Inspired Perfumes

Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs, who brought you “Chtulhu: The Fragrance,” has released a line of RPG-themed “perfume oil blends.” Yes, if you’ve always wanted to smell like an elf but never thought to mix parma violet, hawthorne bark, white moss and a bunch of other shit [[link]] together, they’ve got you covered.(new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c&cid=872d12ce-453b-4870-845f-955919887e1b'; cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c" }).render("79703296e5134c75a2db6e1b64762017"); }); Choose from all standard races in Dungeons & Dragons, six classes and five alignments, at $17.50 per bottle. So if you want to smell like your chaotic neutral [[link]] half-elf fighter-mage, that’ll be $87.50. Each scent’s full list of condiments is at the link. Pretty much everything involves leather, or some kind of [[link]] hide (except for “Halfling” which is “porridge, kukui nuts, and pastry crumbs.”) Orc does not in fact smell like sun-dried ass. It is “Field grey courgette musk, roughly cured leather, and vetiver.” OK. Now watch me find out that “vetiver” means something like “rabbit ass.” The RPG Series [Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, via Boing Boing]